Love Yourself

Step 1

Identify & acknowledge your strengths and use them to your advantage.

Why?

There are many people out there who focus on identifying their weaknesses and then try to fix them or improve them. They then forget about all the strengths that already exist in them. 

How?

Think about your achievements and what strengths you used to get there.

Think about the things that come naturally to you.

Step 2

Remind yourself that you are more than your weight.

Why?

Remind yourself that your loved ones love you for more than your weight. find a way to be happy and love yourself, right now, at any weight. enjoy the journey rather than postponing happiness until you have reached your goal. 

Step 3

Remember that there is no failure, only feedback.

It's important to remember this because if you viewed something that didn't go according to your plans as failure then you are more likely to lose confidence and have your self-esteem take a hit which may then influence you to give up before you achieve your goal. Failure stops us in our tracks whereas considering the outcome as feedback, and an experience to learn from, empowers us to correct the behaviour and continue striving to achieve the goal. Feedback helps us to stay on track and helps us to overcome any barriers. Feedback also helps us to measure how far we have come and how far we have to go.

If we constantly remind ourselves that there is no failure only feedback, then one day we will just stop 'failing'. Imagine what you could do if you knew you couldn't fail??

If you knew you couldn't fail, then you would no doubt have more confidence and motivation to start taking action toward your goal. Many people procrastinate, or give up on their goals for fear of failing. A mindset switch would help these people to explore, grow and take action, and eventually achieve their goal.

What is this phrase?

'There is no failure, only feedback' is a presupposition from NLP which stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Presuppositions are beliefs underlying a system and aren't necessarily true, but if people act 'as if' they are true, they can produce good results.

How?

When you realise you didn't get the outcome you had planned for, be aware of your self-talk. Are you giving yourself unresourceful labels such as 'failure'? If you are, consciously make an effort to give yourself new labels.

Ask yourself good quality questions such as 'How can I learn from this?', 'How can I do it differently next time?', 'What do I need to do more of and what do I need to do less of?', 'Who do I need to be to get a different outcome next time?', 'What resources do I need to access to make it happen next time?'.

Step 4

Take responsibility for your self-esteem and confidence

Why?

It's important to take responsibility for your self-esteem and confidence because no one else will. You can choose to continue having a low self-esteem and a lack of confidence for as long as you like. It's not until you choose to take charge of this that you will see results in your life. There may be some people who had the luxury of having supportive parents, friends, teachers and siblings who all encouraged them and instilled positive, empowering beliefs. However, a large majority of individuals had people of influence in their lives who intentionally or not, instilled limiting beliefs that wore downtheirr confidence. This is all in the past. We don't benefit at all from blaming others for the health of our self-esteem. If we do continue to blame others, then we are making ourselves the victim which is a very disempowering and hopeless role to play. It's time to take responsibility for creating a healthy self-esteem and increasing our confidence from our own influence.

If we don't take responsibility for our own self-esteem then we will constantly be struggling with our goals and will never realise our full potential.

Ask yourself, "What will my life be like if I continue to view myself as I have done until now? What will my life be like if I continue holding onto my limiting beliefs and the disempowering labels that others or I have given me?"

What do I mean by taking responsibility for your self-esteem and confidence?

Believing in yourself is a choice. It is an attitude you develop over time. Although it helps if you had positive and supportive parents, the fact is that most of us had run-of-the-mill parents who inadvertently passed on to us the same limiting beliefs and negative conditioning they grew up with.

How?

• Just as it's suggested in step 2 – listen to your inner dialogue, your mini-me and record the things you tell yourself that don't do you any good. Keep a notebook of what you are saying to yourself. You may need to write down phrases such as, 'I'm not good at anything', 'I can never follow through with anything', 'I couldn't do that', 'It's always my fault', 'He won't like me'.

• Once they are down on paper, consider where they have come from and when you first decided to believe them. What have you been gaining from holding onto these beliefs? Think back to when you were young and remember it was someone else who said those things to you. It is unlikely that you came up with these beliefs all on your own when you were so young. Back then you were a sponge, just taking in everthing that everyone said about you and what you were capable of. Unlike now, you didn't have the ability to create your beliefs about what you could and couldn't do.

• Once you have written some of the phrases that destroy your self-esteem, rewrite them and take on an alternate belief. 'There are plenty of things that I'm great at'. 'The past doesn't equal the future, so I will make sure that I follow through on the next thing I set my mind to,''I can do that if I dedicate myself to it'.

Step 5

Learn to accept and enjoy compliments

Why?

In this course, you will learn about the concept of 'what you focus on is what you get'. For example, if you focus on looking like an idiot in front of someone, then you will then start behaving like an idiot (even if you don't want to) and you will get what you focussed on. It is the same for this step. People who have a low self-esteem seek out evidence that supports their belief that they are not worth much and anything else that opposes this view is either ignored or not even seen. When a person with low self-esteem is given a compliment, this goes against their current disempowering belief system so they do not accept it, don't believe it or just ignore it. So one way to start taking responsibility for increasing your self-esteem is to learn to accept and even enjoy compliments. I know that may seem difficult to even comprehend, that you could enjoy a compliment, but it is possible. The more you can accept and enjoy a compliment, the more you are focussing on the positive aspects rather than the negative. This doesn't mean that you will be cocky or arrogant if you accept a compliment. It may feel a little unusual at first, but it is really important if you want to start to improve your self-esteem.

How?

So how on earth do you accept a compliment? To start with, just say 'thank you'. Instead of trying to argue with the person who gave you the compliment, smile and say 'thank you'. You may be used to saying things like 'this old thing?!' 'I bought this on sale and I'm not really sure if it looks ok'. 'You are just saying that to be nice'. So I repeat, just smile and politely say 'thank you'. You don't even need to feel as though you have to respond with a compliment back to the person. You can do that another time. Just accept your compliment and move on.

Once you have accepted it, think about that compliment and enjoy it. Think about what you have done to deserve that compliment. Acknowledge yourself. Think about what steps you took to get what the compliment was about. For example, if someone at work compliments you on a job well done, go through the steps you took to finish that job. If someone says you look great, think about the exercise you did to get that toned body or the effort you put into grooming yourself. Maybe it didn't take any effort at all, it's just a part of you naturally, so be grateful and appreciate what you have naturally.

Step 6

Make self-care a priority

Why?

When we make self-care a priority, it is a reminder to ourselves that we deserve and need to take care of ourselves and not just everyone around us. One of my favourite ways of explaining this is the airplane crash scenario. When a plane is about to crash, the adult needs to put the oxygen masks over their face first, before they can put it on their children. The adult can't look after the children if they aren't safe and well first. It is the same concept in everyday life. What good are we to others, if we are not fit, healthy and looked after first? When you make self-care a priority, gradually you will expect to be treated well and with respect which will in-turn improve your self-esteem. One way to improve your self-care is to make sure that you get enough sleep. Dr Amen states in his book 'Change your brain, change your body' that not only is sleep important for your general self-care but it can also affect your weight. If you get less than six hours of sleep a night your brain function lowers and causes your brain to release hormones that increase your appetite and cravings for high-sugar snacks. On top of this, the lack of sleep prematurely ages your skin! So I think that's probably enough motivation to make sure you get enough sleep.

What do I mean by self-care?

Self-care can be described in many different ways. It could mean eating nutritious food and getting enough exercise. It could mean taking time for yourself to be with your thoughts. It could mean[not sure what is happening here but it wouldn't let me bring the lines up???]setting aside time to for yourself to watch your favourite TV show. Maybe it's getting a massage to feel totally relaxed. Perhaps it's getting up early to meditate and clear your mind. There are so many ways to 'care' for yourself and you need to figure out what your body and mind needs.

How?

• When you are planning your day or week, actually schedule in your self-care activity/ies. When it comes time for that activity, make sure you stick to the plan and do not prioritise other activities instead.
• Try a self-care activity that you have previously felt guilty doing, such as getting a massage or a facial. When you go, remind yourself that you deserve it and allow yourself to enjoy it.
• Make sure you are spending some time developing yourself and not just the people around you. Is there a course you want to do or a class you want to take?
• If you have a busy schedule that is filled with looking after others, get the people around you to take over some of the chores so that you can attend to your self-care. I don't mean to forget about your loved ones and your responsibilities, just re-organise how things get done so that you make it clear to people around you that you are valuable and deserve to look after yourself just as much as they deserve being looked after. It may take them a bit of getting used to, but when you start to treat yourself with care and respect, others will follow.

Step 7

Treat yourself with the same amount of love and respect as you do your closest friends and family.

Why?

If we treated our friends and family the way we treat ourselves, we wouldn't have many friends and family left! Would you say the things that you say to yourself to your loved ones? I doubt it. Would you tell them that 'they couldn't do it' or 'they look fat in that top'? Would you tell them that they are failures and they shouldn't even try? Would you prevent them from taking care of themselves or stop them from taking time out when they were stressed? Again, I doubt it! So, if we started to treat ourselves the way that we treat our loved ones, then our self-esteem would sky-rocket!

How?

The way we do this is to be more aware of what we are telling ourselves and what we allow ourselves to do. If you hear yourself dish out negative self-talk, ask yourself if you would say that to your loved ones? If not, think of what you would say and repeat that to yourself.

If you find yourself not prioritising your self-care, think of what it would do if you consciously stopped your loved ones from taking care of themselves.

What are small changes you've made resulting in a big difference in your life?

CJ Sutton

1. Switch off the TV. When my wife and I did this, we ended up talking a lot more, reading books, and noticing little things in social circles that escaped others.

2. Attempt to read one book a week. This has had an immense impact on the "resting" of my brain and I have learnt so much.

3. Walk every day. Even if it's a short distance. Make sure it's outside.

4. Listen. When someone is speaking, don't interrupt. People most often say what they actually want to say at the end of their discourse. Interrupting them will prevent you from getting the crux of their argument.

5. Cancel your Facebook account. Facebook used to diminish my ability to have real relationships with people. Since I've quit, I get a lot more stimulation by being on mind-stimulating forums such as this one. I also crave real social interaction and working on real relationships. It's also shown me who my real friends are. 

6. Study. Whenever I find myself in a rut, I study something that I think I'll enjoy. Since I did this, my annual salary has increased by a very large percentages each year because I become more indispensable to my clients and employers.

7. Learn to say sorry. Saying sorry or admitting that someone else is right will immediately disarm him or her if they attack you. Another way to put this one is: Be humble

8. Don't chase after money. Oh boy, this one has made a huge difference in my life. Seeing money as a means rather than an end has given me a lot of financial freedom.

9. Give. Giving at least 5% of my salary to those less fortunate than me seems to always come back in waves of prosperity.

10. Never say no to lending money. If someone asks me to borrow money, I almost always say yes (if I have it). If they don't pay me back, I don't remind them. It feels great! Not sure why :)

11. See the good in people. This is a recent one. Instead of finding people's faults, rather find their strong points. Then, be diligent in seeking out your own faults and strive to be better.

12. Don't worry about what others think of you. This is a hard one for me. I am driven by how others perceive me, so I make a point of escaping my comfort zone and putting myself in uncomfortable positions. It has really freed me up from trying to be what others want.

That's all I can think of for now :)

2 Million Dollar cheque - How to Manifest Large Sums of Money

http://www.erica.biz/2010/manifest-money/

First, something that, as far as I know, I've never shared publicly: In 2006, right after watching "The Secret" on my computer, I wrote a check to myself for $1,000,000 and posted it on my bathroom mirror. Every time I brushed my teeth or my hair, I'd stand there and look at that check, and pretty much every day I'd visualize how I'd feel when I sold my business for $1 million. It got to the point where I knew it was going to happen–it was just a matter of when.

It didn't take long: In 2007, I boldly told Bruce, who would soon buy my company, over lunch that I "wouldn't accept a penny less than $1.1 million" to sell my company. Why $1.1 million? Well, my company had some debt, and I owned 91.5% of it, with the rest of it owned by two loyal employees.

We signed the papers on September 7, 2007, and I remember clearly the euphoric feeling I felt upon receiving Bruce's first check for $100,000. He said, "How does it feel?" and I didn't even know what to think. 6 years of work, and it had all culminated in this one moment! Every emotion I could possibly have ran through my head. It was sheer adrenaline.

Anyway, after adding up all my monthly expenses and multiplying them out, plus adding in things like first class plane tickets, $40,000 per month was the number I wanted to aim for. So I set the intention.

I kept coming back to it every day. And, in a new twist for me, I didn't try to figure out how I was going to make it. I simply decided to let inspiration strike.

Here's How You Can Manifest Money

So, how did I get from meditating on $40,000/month of income to doing it? Here's what I've done so far, and how you can do the same thing:

Step 1: State your goal as if it has already been achieved. I started out by saying "I am making $40,000 per month." Then I listened to how that felt in my body.

Step 2: Acknowledge, then question, the resistance. At first, I felt a whole lot of resistance. So I asked each part of me that was resisting why it was resisting.

I got back a whole lot of answers! One concern was that I would work too hard and be exhausted. I replied to this concern with, "First, now that I am gluten free, I am not as tired as I used to be. Secondly, I only want to do work that energizes me. I am not interested in money-making ideas that exhaust me."

Then I asked that piece of resistance if that resolved its issue. If it did, I didn't feel it any more. (This is hard to explain in words–try it for yourself and see!) If it didn't, I went back to asking it why it was resisting.

Step 3: Do this consistently. I did this night after night, sometimes spending 20 minutes or more in a question-answer state with my body. After several nights, I no longer felt resistance. I continued every day, sometimes more than once a day, to state "I am making $40,000 per month." It got to the point where I was really excited to state this!

Step 4: Start making your external reality match your ideal reality. Then repeat all the steps.Once I conquered my internal resistance, I focused on my external world. I asked myself what my ideal reality was when making $40,000 per month. Then, based on that, I started making changes in my reality. My ideal reality included owning a house, so we went and looked at houses. Then I learned that I needed W-2 income to buy a house, so I set up my corporations to do payroll and pay me via W-2 instead of dividends.

I decided I'd be cleaner when I was making that much money, so I started filing papers and getting rid of Stuff. I purged my closet, getting rid of over 2/3 of my clothes. I shredded document after document, scanning the ones I needed a record of into my computer. I donated an entire carload of items to Goodwill. I posted old items I was no longer using on eBay. I donated over 30 books and my entire DVD collection save just three DVDs. I even got rid of Stuff that hurt a little bit, like my Kindle, because I felt inspired to live more simply and purge the house of unnecessary items.

All of this was based in large part at looking at my reality through the lens of someone who is making $40,000 per month. Would I need to hang on to old items, or could I simply buy new ones? I decided it had to be the latter, and acted accordingly.

Slowly, I was pulling my old reality into sync with my new one. And–I wasn't spending major money to do it. In fact, interestingly, I was making money doing it, by donating so much old stuff and selling items.

The real question is: What do you want? Most people fail because they don't make their intentions clear. Whether it's money, health, or relationships, anything you can intend can be yours. The challenge then is following through with where your intuition leads you.

It can be pretty scary to go where your intuition says you need to go. You may have to quit your job, move to a new city (or even country!), or break up with a loved one to get what you want. But follow through, and know that even in the darkest moments you are not alone, and you too can manifest just about anything you can dream of.

Recommended Reading:

• Take This Job and Shove It (PDF). Upcoming blog rockstar Tyler Tervooren has written a great free ebook on how to quit your job and live freely (even if you don't think you can quit right now!) Check it out.
• The Failure Manifesto. My last post…read for an interesting contrast to this post!
• Manifesting a Trip to Tahiti. I wrote about manifesting a trip to Tahiti–and then manifested it, and went to Tahiti!

Top 20 VC Bloogs

Read the full list of all 73 VC blogs on Cheng's blog. 

1. Paul Graham (@paulg), YCombinator, Essays (97,227)
2. Fred Wilson (@fredwilson), Union Square Ventures, A VC (81,483)
3. Mark Suster (@msuster), GRP Partners, Both Sides of the Table (53,655)
4. Brad Feld (@bradfeld), Foundry Group, Feld Thoughts (38,821)
5. Chris Dixon (@cdixon), Founder Collective, cdixon.org (20,988)
6. Charlie O'Donnell (@ceonyc), First Round Capital, This is Going to be Big (13,970)
7. Larry Cheng (@larryvc), Volition Capital, Thinking About Thinking (13,215)
8. Dave McClure (@davemcclure), Founders Fund, Master of 500 Hats (11,127)
9. Ben Horowitz (@bhorowitz), Andreesen Horowitz, Ben's Blog (10,686)
10. Jeremy Liew (@jeremysliew), Lightspeed Ventures Partners, LSVP (9,344)
11. Bijan Sabet (@bijan), Spark Capital, Bijan Sabet (8,256)
12. Ryan Spoon (@ryanspoon), Polaris Venture Partners, ryanspoon.com (7,828)
13. Albert Wenger (@albertwenger), Union Square Ventures, Continuations (7,469)
14. Roger Ehrenberg (@infoarbitrage), IA Ventures, Information Arbitrage (7,182)
15. Rob Go (@robgo), NextView Ventures, robgo.org (6,934)
16. Josh Kopelman (@joshk), First Round Capital, Redeye VC (6,778)
17. David Cowan (@davidcowan), Bessemer Venture Partners, Who Has Time For This? (5,993)
18. Mendelson/Feld (@foundrygroup), Foundry Group, Ask The VC (5,963)
19. Bill Gurley (@bgurley), Benchmark Capital, Above The Crowd (5,428)
20. Jeff Bussgang (@bussgang), Flybridge Capital Partners, Seeing Both Sides (5,223)

Bloggers to check out

Liz Strauss, SOBCon Co-Founder

Terry Starbucker, SOBCon Co-Founder

Cathy Brooks, CEO, Story Navigation

Derek Halpern, CEO, Social Triggers

Jay Jay French, Twisted Sister

Sharon Gitelle, Forbes.com

Carol Roth, CEO, IntercapMP

Chris Brogan, President, New Media Labs

Chris Gillebeau, Author, The Art of Non-conformity

Michael Port, Author

Jodi Gersh, Gannett

Kira Wampler, Ants-Eye View

Steve Farber, Leadership Author & Speaker

Action and Purpose

We have to decide that we want to have time. The decision to have time for human tasks like playing, reading, thinking, reflecting, learning, meditating, innovating, having friends, loving, spending time with the family or simply being is essential in order to give meaning to life and to provide pure happiness, above the mundane (ordinary). It has to be facilitated on a practical level from the different degrees of power and management that each person has in life. Don't wait for someone to magically appear to make you happy. You have to know that nobody will come as if by magic to rescue you from your essential emptiness. It has to be you yourself who decides to live with a purpose and fill yourself in order to overcome your deficiencies and enjoy your life.

MIKE2.0

http://mike2.openmethodology.org/wiki/Master_Data_Management_Solution_Offering#Solution_Offering_Purpose

MIKE2.0 (Method for an Integrated Knowledge Environment) is an open source delivery methodology forEnterprise information management. MIKE2.0 was released to the public in December, 2006, byBearingPoint, a management and technology consulting company, under the Creative Commons Attribution License. The project is now run by the MIKE2.0 Governance Association ,^[1] a non-profit organisation based in Switzerland, with BearingPoint and Deloitte as the founding members. In March 2013 the book "Information Development Using MIKE2.0" ^[2] was published as a companion guide to the online community.

The methodology provides a comprehensive framework for Information Management, including:

• Information governance
• Data quality improvement
• Data integration
• Data migration
• Data warehousing
• Master data management
• Data-driven IT transformation
• Enterprise search
• Enterprise 2.0

How should a 24-year-old invest time?

Source: http://www.quora.com/How-should-a-24-year-old-invest-time-1

The Power Of Creating Good Habits

The biggest secret that man has discovered over the last few decades is the power of habit. Once a habit is established it lasts for a life time. 

Developing a habit in the beginning seems hard, but once you master something and include it in your habits, it will be forgotten and you'll just do it easily. 

The 5 Most Powerful Habits That Anyone Can Learn

1. Take Care Of Your Body

The way to take care of your body is simple. Eat less & exercise more. 

Spend 30 - 60 Minutes Each Day Exercising. 

This does not mean that you join a gym and start pumping weights. It means that you work every muscle in your body. 

Eat Food That Is Fresh & Healthy

Eat as much fresh fruits & vegetables as you can everyday. Include a fruit and vegetables in your diet. This will give you the energy that you need.

Play A Sport That You Like Everyday

This is something that will help you relax your mind. That can get you moving physically and get you out of your head and present in the moment. 

The rush of the moment will help your mind relax for a minute and focus on the right now instead of being stuck on analyzing the past or estimating the future.

Avoid Junk Food

Eat food that is free of preservatives, sugar, corn, syrup and overly loaded with salt and carbs.
Good foods will make your body strong and healthy. Addictive foods will make your body lethargic and rotten.

2. Take Care of Your Mind

Your mind is the one thing that controls your thoughts everyday and the thoughts that you think create the reality that you see around you.
But how do you take care of your mind?

The mind, like anything else, has the characteristics of a muscle. You use it or lose it. And as long as you are using it, it will remain fit and healthy. The minute you stop using it, it will decay and rust. 

So you keep this muscle active by doing the following. 

Read Every Day

Spend 30 minutes each morning and night reading. 

Read motivational books. Books about philosophy, economics, politics, literature. Read fiction. Read self-help books. Read about parenting, read about health. Read about science and technology. 

This will keep your mind stimulated and open to ideas. You will get a number of ideas for each author that you can implement in your life. You will also get opinions from across the globe. 

Write Every Day 

The only way to bring your thoughts to reality is to write them down. If you don't write them down they will be lost to the electric impulses inside your brain. 

So write your thoughts down, write ideas that come to you, write your philosophy about life. 

Write ever day. This will help you clear your thought and formulate complete ideas. 

If you have a problem. Write it down. You will be able to come up with a solution better, once you've written down the problem. 

If you have a crush on someone. Write it down. Write down the things that you like about that person, how it makes you feel, what you would do for them. 

All these things when written down will help clarify your thoughts about love and life, about right and wrong. 

Writing will help identify truths about your thoughts and define how you think. As you progress in your writing, read about writing better. Then write better. 

The better you write, the better you will think. 

Develop Your Mind In Other Ways

The more neural connections your mind has the better it is. The faster it can do things. The better it can fight against disease in old age, like Alzheimers. 

You can create new neural connections in your mind by doing new things. The more 'new' things you try the more your brain will become developed. 

Even if you suck at something - the experience of doing it, learning the rule, trying it out will develop your mind. 

Listen to and watch things that will develop you mind. Instead of watching TV, watch TED Talks. 

Instead of listening to 'distressing' music, listen to sweet, kind music. Listen to Mozart, listen to Beethoven. 

Plan to learn a new skill every year. Pick up playing an instrument one year. Spend time learning this instrument like this will be something that you will play all your life. 

The next year learn to play a new sport. Something that you've never tried before. This will both help your muscles improve and improve your mind. 

Avoid Junk In Your Mind

Just like your body needs good food to run, your mind needs good fuel to run. 

If you feed your mind with junk 'input' like mindless television, excessive drama, or constant news coverage whether TV or newspapers, your mind will become lethargic and fatigued. 

You will lose the will to do things, since your mind will associate doing things with depressing sad news. 

So avoid all news, whether TV or newspaper. Avoid junk TV like dramas on TV. Avoid excessive emotional drama on TV. This will give you space in your head to do things that will help build up your mind. 

Take a look at the world news for today. Pick up the newspaper and read the editorials in your newspaper. Then go online and read the newspapers of the country that those editorials were about.

The opinions in those editorials will be completely different. 

So while it's great to be exposed to different points of view, you won't get them in the news. The news will only report the 'bad' news, using shock, anxiety and fear. 

A better way to get exposure of other people cultures, mental stimulation, and discover what's going outside your own home is to travel, or meet other people. 

You wont miss what's happening in the news - people will tell you anyway. 

Avoid all of the news, political, celebrity, current affairs. Nothing in the news will impact your life on a daily basis. If there is something that impacts you - you will hear it from your friends and family before you see it on the news. 

Excessive news will only stress a 24 year old and make them feel like they can't do anything, or become indifferent to the sufferings of others. A better idea is to discover issues afflicting the community where you live.

If you think a TV show is good - write down what you like about the show, then go out and experience that for yourself. Go meet people do some stuff in the real world. 

This will give you the habit of becoming an action taker, getting in the game, instead of sitting on the sidelines watching others. 

If you like House of Cards - go volunteer with a political campaign to learn what really happens there, instead of watching someone else version of real life.

If you like Mad Men, intern for an advertising agency in your town. Learn in the real world - not sitting on your couch. Sure your friends will have a lot of opinions about what 'cool' stuff you're missing out, but while they are warming the couches, you will actually be having more fun than they are. 

You'll be living - not watching life from a couch. 

So avoid junk food for your mind and give it the resources to build itself. 

3. Take Care Of Your Relationships

How do you get a friend, by being a friend. 

In life you are born with a very few people in your life. Your parents. Your siblings. Your grandparents if they are still alive. Your cousins if you are close to them. 

Every other relationship in your life you have to go out and create. You make friends along the way. Some of the good, some of them not so good. 

These friends that you make in your journey through life will become your support system. the people you meet everyday, from the grocer, to the kid working at Best Buy. 

Sure, at 24 you're probably thinking, 'who gives a f*&K about these people...' but down the line it is these people, these relationships that will matter most to you in your life. 

The way to take care of your relationships is as follows

Remember Birthdays & Anniversaries

Even if your friends tell you they don't celebrate birthdays. Even if your family become sullen when you call them for anniversaries. Remember them. 

Even though people say they don't care, everyone cares about their own special days. When you remember their birthday & anniversaries, they will remember your kindness. 

But it doesn't end there. Remember the special moments in their lives. If they had a kid, remember the date and call them, or write them a card on that occasion. 

Yes, even in the day of email, and text. A phonecall or a card have a HUGE impact than a Facebook message or text. Over the years your kindness for others in the form of remembering their special days will snowball and you will become a powerhouse. 

It good to know that some one cares about you - both for them and for you, when you are in trouble, or they are. 

Remember when they had hard times in their lives. If they were close to their grandparents and they recently passed away. Remember them on that day. Help your friends get over these moments. 

When you need them, when your loved ones leave you, your friends will be there to catch you before you fall. 

Forgive Them Before They Ask For Forgiveness

In the long scheme of life small things don't matter. It doesn't matter if your friend forgot to tell you first about their new job. Or they didn't tell you about the girl they were proposing to. 

Be a gentleman and forgive them in your heart even before they ask for forgiveness. Then let the incident go. They will realize you are a big hearted person and treat you like that. 

But when you do this - don't resent them after. Really forget the incident and forgive them. 

This is more for you, then for them. If you keep holding onto every single hurt that any one has done for you then your baggage will become so heavy you won't be able to go through the door. 

You'll be stuck inside your own head and no one will want to be around you. No one will want to trip on your baggage. 

But if you do forgive them and forget the incidents you will be free. Your carefree nature will be reflective in everything that you do and everyone will want to be around you. 

Avoid Emotional Vampires

No matter how good you are to people, occasionally there will be some who are vampires. They suck all the time and energy out of you. 

Sometimes you will encounter them at your workplace. Some of them will be your childhood friends, or even a member of your family. 

No matter what you do, you can't change them, you can't help them improve, you cannot guide them. 

So the best thing to do with people like this is to avoid them. Though it might hurt you in the beginning, but the best thing for you and them is to avoid them.

You can be kind and make an excuse for not meeting them, but that will only last so long. So take the bigger step and let them know that they are an emotional strain on you - and you'd much rather hang out with more positive people. 

People who support your goals, your dreams, your aspiration. People who share your ambitions and values. These are the people who will really help you grow. 

The vampires will get hurt - but there is no better way to deal with them. The sooner you take care of them the better. 

Really dig deep and find out the people who bother you in your life like that and then stop meeting them and hanging out with them. 

CAUTION: If it turns out that everyone in your life seems to be a vampire you either need to change them all, or look inside yourself and change yourself. 

Most likely, the conclusion will be to change yourself and your attitude towards them. 

4. Take Care Of Your Finances

No matter how you grew up, in abundance or poverty, it is your duty to take care of your own finances. 

Even if you parents have taken care of them for you, even if you have a trust fund, even if you have an empty bank account. You are responsible for it. It is your responsibility to take care of your finances. 

If you take care of your finances starting today they will take care of you when you most need them. When you are old, or sick, or sending your kids to school, or helping a parent through sickness. Your finances will help you. 

If you don't take care of your finances you will end up in debt. Your shoulders will droop and your mind will be gripped by thoughts of money. You will end up living the life of an indebted servant, where you have to work to pay of your debts. 

But how do you take care of your finances

Get Positive Cashflow

To begin taking care of your finances you need to have more income than you spend. You need to have more money coming in to your bank account than you are spending. 

Most people don't learn this until after they get their 1st job or after they've maxed out their first credit card. 

As long as you have a positive cashflow you can get other things in your life a lot easier. If you don't have positive cashflow in your life spend the next year or two getting positive cashflow. 

Spend the next 15 minutes figuring out how much money you spend, include rent for the house you live in (or your contribution if you're living with parents), utilities, groceries, car, internet, other monthly expenses, insurance, and monthly spending on shopping & entertainment. 

Once you have your expenses take them out of your income. If you have no income - then you have a negative cashflow. Do whatever you can, teach other people, pick up a 2nd job, mow lawns. Whatever you have to do to get this to positive cash flow. 

What do you do after you have positive cashflows?

Pay Yourself First

Every cent you earn will be spent by other people for you. The government will want its cut in the form of taxes. The bank will ask for the mortgage payment, insurance, car payments... and so on. Until you don't have anything left in your account. 

So before this happens, pay yourself first. 

Get into a retirement scheme where they take 5 - 10% from your salary and put it into a gratuity and provident fund. Then when you get your salary, take another 5 - 10% and put them into another account. 

This account is your retirement account - also known as F*&K You money.  This is the money that will give you the balls to say F*&K you to anyone you want to. 

Because you have this money sitting in your account - you won't become a slave to anyone, no one will control you. 

But a word of warning... You can't just get a small amount and then stop. This is a lifetime practice. You have to keep adding to this account. Until it become big enough that you can invest this into assets that make money for you. 

This is money that you only spend on assets that make money. Like a house you put up for rent, or government bonds, or dividend funds, or buying a profitable business etc. 

Financial Sinkholes To Avoid

If anything sounds too good to be true - it probably is. 

A few things to avoid when you're taking care of your finances. 

The Stock Market - Most people will tell you to invest in it - but don't. Only invest in a S&P Index Fund at best if you really want to. Even though some friend of yours will tell you they have a big 'tip' on a stock that could make you millions - don't invest. 

Investing in the stock market as a habit is not a very productive habit. Some days you'll do well, other days you won't do too well. 

When you do well you'll be on top of the world, when you don't do too well, you'll become anxious, stressed, even suicidal. 

If you made 50% one year, did you make another 50% the next year. Probably not. Which is systematic. If you could make 50% each year, you'd be Warren Buffet. 

It is the job of people on Wall Street to make money investing, yet they sometimes fail. They are professionals, very good at their jobs. 99 out of 100, professionals will beat a hobbyist. 

In wall street you are always playing against a professional. In a sport you will play most days with people on your own caliber. So you'll win some, you'll lose some. On wall street you'll lose a ton. 

Business Opportunity - If someone tells you that you can make a million dollars in 3 years by investing a small amount of money, or any other such scheme - don't listen to them. Shut the door, bang the phone, kick them out. If it's a friend - stop meeting him again. 

This doesn't mean you shouldn't do your own thing. If there is a business that you think you can run - go for it. Just don't fall for Biz-Op schemes. 

Lottery Schemes - If you ever hear that you've just won a cruise, or are tempted to buy a lottery ticket, or that you will earn X number of points. Run away - don't walk, run away. 

Credit Cards - Yes, even the lovely credit cards. These are probably the worst things invented since the dawn of time. Credit cards don't increase your spending power - they just make it seem that your spending power has increased. You still have to pay for what you bought, plus interest. 

It's great that you pay your bill in full. Most people don't. This habit of paying for full on a credit card is great. But there is a flaw in this habit...

The average credit card debt in the US is $7,000. Most people can't pay that off every month so someone is paying for very expensive credit card debt. 

Someone did think that they could make the complete payment every month, then got stuck in and is now paying less than the whole payment. 

Points, miles, bonuses is a way of getting you to spend on your card, until you get behind on payment. You might not - someone close to you will. The system is more patient and disciplined than you can ever be. 

A better alternative is to save for what you want - then when you have the cash then go buy the thing that you wanted to buy. 

This has 3 benefits

1) The thing will in all likelihood be cheaper by the time you've saved for it

2) There will be a newer shinier model that you can now buy based on the money you saved. 

3) You will realize that you didn't want it in the first place anyway and were buying it on an impulse. 

These sinkholes mentioned are all just ways to get a single $1 out of you. Don't give them the dollar. It represents a part of you, of your life. You might think what's the big deal about a dollar, but a dollar properly invested can become the greatest fortune in the world. 

Read the story about how the Native Americans sold Manhattan for a $1, and how much that dollar would be worth today invested properly. Hint: It is worth more than the value of all the buildings, land, and businesses in those buildings on Manhattan - put together. 

5. Take Care Of Your Communication

The biggest problems in the world arise because of mis-communication. People mis-understand each other. 

Spouses fight because they don't understand what was being said. 

Employees get fired because of a communication error. 

Friends fight because of something that was mis-understood. 

Communication errors cause major problems in relationships between friends, employees, board members and even countries. 

So take care of your communication. Become a communication master. Become some one who can communicate clearly and effectively. Not just in your speaking, but in your writing, in your thoughts. 

But how do you improve your communication?

Communicate At The 6th Grade Level

Yes, at the 6th grade level. This is one of the most important thing you can do for your communication. If you can explain things to a 10 year old you can explain them to anyone. 

You might think that most 'educated' people will get turned off by this. But the truth is even most educated people think at the 6th grade level. When they are reading research papers, or grading Ph.D thesis will they get into the 'educated' mind and think this is stupid. 

Just by communicating at this level, your communication will be understood every time. Your kids will understand you, your parents will listen to you, your employers will 'get' you. 

In fact by communicating at this level every one around you will think you are wise that you are able to explain complex ideas in the simplest of manner. 

Learn The Vocabulary Of Whatever You Are Doing

By learning the vocabulary of what you are doing you will learn faster. You will be understood quicker. Your responses will be on point.

Every profession, sport, online forum, clique, had a different vocabulary. The faster you learn this vocabulary and use it in your conversations the quicker you will rise. 

If you play tennis, learn every thing that the pros are saying. Learn their meaning and then when you talk to your friends at tennis using the vocabulary will enhance your game. 

The same applies to your profession. The sooner you learn the vocabulary of the profession the faster you will progress. But this isn't a technique, use it to enhance your overall vocabulary. 

Putting It All To Work For You

These habits when put in to action will enhance your life profoundly. 

You won't feel it when you turn 23, or even when you are 24. But as you progress as you spend more and more time in this, your results will multiply and compound. 

Each day that you spend doing these activities your results will increase ten fold. 

By the time you turn 30 you will have more friends who love you, more employers who want to hire you, and more energy than you can imagine possible. 

But on top of that because your life is built around a number of activities, not just your job, you will be more fulfilled and happier in life. 

I know even starting at 27 yrs old and implementing these in my life - by the time I turned 33 the results I was getting was more than I'd ever imagined. 

It still amazes me the way my life keeps changing every 6 months to a year. 

Every year. The results will speak for themselves when you apply these.